Wednesday 21 March 2018

Ponyfic Roundup 196: Seaweed, Moss or Kelp

I'll never really understand the obsession with St Patrick's Day among people with absolutely no link to Ireland. It's a break from Lent, but how many people observe that in 2018 anyway? It's not just an American thing, either. I mean, I have Welsh ancestry (and so support Wales at rugby union), but nobody organises massive street parties for St David's Day and GOG doesn't put on St David's Day sales with cartoons of leeks. It's odd. Also, I don't like Guinness. :P

Read it Later story count: 342 (-2)

At long last, I'm actually reviewing a story I've wanted to read for ages! Since it has a short prequel, I'm also reviewing that. Four stories this week, and there would have been five had I not spent a fair amount of time shovelling snow. It's the second half of March; can we stop this, Nature? Thanks. Anyway, here are the four stories that did get read:

To My Princess, on the Day of Her Departure by D G D Davidson
Love on the Reef by D G D Davidson
Watch! Watch! by horizon
Fluttershy Hugs a Chicken by Elusive Phoenix

★: 0 | ★★: 2 | ★★★: 0 | ★★★★: 1 | ★★★★★: 1

To My Princess, on the Day of Her Departure by D G D Davidson
Twilight, Celestia and Flash Sentry
Romance/Adventure/Sad; 5k words; Aug 2013; Teen
Before leaving on a two-year tour of duty in Zebrabwe, Flash Sentry pens a letter to Twilight Sparkle, telling her of his failure.
Written after the first Equestria Girls film appeared, this takes the form of an exchange of letters. Flash, who goes first, writes at inordinate and frankly slightly unbelievable length for a single letter. He also makes extensive references to events in the very first arc of the IDW comics. While you can probably read this without having read those, that background knowledge certainly helps. Flash is perhaps waffling to put off what he really wants to say, which comes at the end. Twilight's shorter reply feels almost spare in comparison, and her responses are well in character. It was the part of the fic I most enjoyed, certainly. I do think Flash's own letter could have done with substantial cuts, though, and as a result this drags a bit. A top-end two. ★★

Love on the Reef by D G D Davidson
Twilight, Flash Sentry and Other
Romance; 10k words; Dec 2013; Teen
In the undersea world of Aquastria, Nar Wally the narwhal loves Electra the mermare, but Electra loves Arrow the sea pony. When Electra makes a rash decision endangering a pony's life, Wally may be the only one who can come to her aid.
No, that's not a misnaming of the movie's Seaquestria – not that it could be in a 2013 fic. Aquastria is the world of Mary Jane Begin's fairly shallow but beautifully illustrated Under the Sparkling Sea picture book. (Nar Wally is a narwhal canon to that book, so his silly name can't be helped.) This is a much more satisfying fic than its prequel, with a lot of fascinating world-building that goes well beyond what Begin created. Electra is an interestingly flawed character who feels just alien enough, and we get a little seapony anatomy, too. Flash and Twilight don't appear (separately) until fairly late on, but I didn't feel impatient. Flash's first major scene is dramatic and exciting. There's a clichéd "single tear" moment and some silly shoo-be-dooing – although the latter is repurposed in an interesting way. I'm glad to see this almost completely neglected setting given an enjoyable treatment. ★★★★

Watch! Watch! by horizon
Carrot Top, Rainbow Dash, Lyra, Bon-Bon and Zecora
Adventure/Comedy/Crossover; 13k words; Feb–Mar 2018; Teen (Sex/Narcotics)
A crime wave is gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone. Then "Rainbow" Dash of the City Watch meets a batpony (adopted) named Carrot. The town will never be the same. (An homage to the City Watch of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels!)
This piece (minus its epilogue*) won first prize in the "Comedy (is Serious Business) Contest", against very tough competition, and I'm not surprised. It is a fantastic Pratchettian comedy, by no means a slavish parody of the Discworld books but very much in their vein. Yes, I do think you'll enjoy it most if you've read Guards! Guards!, but horizon's skilful writing means it's by no means necessary, despite the [Crossover] genre tag. The jokes stick their landings again and again, the characters are spot on (I hated to leave them at the end), the footnotes are fun and the twists are clever. There's a point in this story, I won't say where, at which you're likely to realise just why this fic won that contest. It's superbly executed, as indeed is the whole story. The best comedy I've read in a long time. ★★★★★

* The reason the epilogue was originally omitted, as mentioned by horizon at the time, was that this fic would otherwise have exceeded the contest's word count limit. I'm not totally certain how comfortable I am with this, given that I'm not sure the Complete tag and actively intending to add more really go together. It's a five with or without the epilogue, though.

Fluttershy Hugs a Chicken by Elusive Phoenix
Fluttershy
Slice of Life; 1k words; Sep 2012; Everyone
Chickens love Fluttershy.
A rather strange entry in the "Fluttershy caring for animals" subgenre here. This is the only chicken-centric story I know of that doesn't feature Scootaloo. It's quite a cute, fluffy piece, but one with a slight edge, in that Elizabeak feels that Fluttershy doesn't quite understand how much she loves the mare. There are the usual problems of early-fandom writing: "butter-coloured pegasus" makes an appearance, as well as frequent minor technical errors. Kudos for taking on a very rare concept, but it's frustratingly short and superficial. ★★

Next time on Ponyfic Roundup: stories reviewed will include Cold in Gardez's Severe Weather Appreciation Week. Seems appropriate given what's been happening here this month.

5 comments:

  1. Horizon wasn't the only one who added an epilogue after the contest was over, funnily enough.


    To be completely honest, I didn't mind it when I learned there was an unpublished epilogue while judging, and now that I've read it I career even less. Way I see it, published like this, the epilogue is little more than a slightly differently named sequel; it's not fundamental for the story and I judged it as if it didn't exist (because I hadn't read it, mostly).

    I guess some people get iffy because something something Complete tag something? But IMO that's just nitpicking. Horizon win without even posting the full story -- that's how good he is, you can say.

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    1. It is nitpicking, absolutely agreed. It still mildly irritates me when authors do it, because from a reviewer's point of view it's annoying when you write about a story with three chapters and then a year later someone complains because "Didn't you even read chapter six?" I've had that happen.

      In this case, it was a bit different as the extra chapter didn't turn up out of the blue a year later. And as I say, it's a five-star fic either way – only the third comedy I've rated such in four years* – so I'm certainly not going to make a big deal of it. If this is the price of getting a story of this quality, then that's a trade-off I'll sign for every day of the week.

      * The others were Skywriter's Martial Bliss and Cold in Gardez's Naked Singularity.

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  2. horizon is always dependably great. Good author. Awesome dude to hang with.

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    1. I'll have to take your word for the last bit, but the rest I'll whole-heartedly agree with. He's one of only four authors with at least three reviews here who've never scored below four stars. (The others are RBDash47, Horse Voice and the inevitable Mr Gardez. Which sounds like an old-fashioned crime thriller, but still.)

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    2. Aw, thanks. :) Glad you've been enjoying my stuff!

      And thank you as well for the kind words on this one! I'm chuffed to be in such lofty company.

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