Wednesday 29 April 2015

Ponyfic Roundup 54: Roundup Without an Interesting Name

I keep meaning to make a small post about the particular challenges of being a British ponyfic writer, such as trying to convince your mostly-American commenters that yes, "furore" is correct, but that's going to have to wait until I stop being so lazy. :P Instead, you get this week's Ponyfic Roundup, which is another lucky dip of short (and shortish) stories. Here are the six stories I've chosen to review this time around:

A World Without Kindness by billymorph
Civil Twilight by PresentPerfect
Listen by Taialin
The Mane 6 vs. the Islamic State by CategoricalGrant
Mr. Brannigan's Ghosts by Moose Mage
Simply Rarity by Somber

A World Without Kindness by billymorph
Fluttershy, Mane Six and CMC
Sad/Dark/Adventure/Alternate Universe; 17K words; Jan–Mar 2015; Teen
The winner of the More Most Dangerous Game contest, this is a reimagining of the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout: Equestria (PR 5) in which a Fluttershy twisted by the war lives deep in the Everfree Forest. "Twilight Sparkle is coming, leading the last army of Dawn," says the blurb; I love that line. The story, though, is frustrating. I like most of it: the opening section is fabulous, Fluttershy's character works disturbingly well and the epilogue is satisfying. On the other hand, one significant word is taken from a completely different fandom, there are too many main characters and, for a contest winner, it's not very well proofread. ("Applebloom" – enough said.) Worst is that a major turning point is hard to believe, even allowing for the pony involved. I'll forgive this some of those faults for its portrayal of Fluttershy, but this fic doesn't quite live up to its considerable potential. ★★★

Civil Twilight by PresentPerfect
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy
Dark/Slice of Life; 4K words; May 2013; Teen
We follow Twilight as she visits her friends... and we're also privy to her intrusive thoughts, which are a teensy bit on the dark side. My problem here is that these days this approach to Twi instantly makes me think of Friendship is Witchcraft, and I'm not sure that's very helpful. :P I find it hard to imagine Rarity saying "Lay it on me, Twi" under any circumstances ever, and rabbits are not rodents argh, but otherwise this reads smoothly enough. Wins points for a nice use of Fluttershy, too. What you might call a bloodless gorefic, I suppose. I think I can buy this Twilight, so it rates solidly. ★★★

Listen by Taialin
Rarity and Fluttershy
Slice of Life; 4K words; Feb 2015; Everyone
Having trouble with Opal, Rarity (who narrates in first-person present tense) seeks out Fluttershy's advice – but discovers that the pegasus has something else she needs to do. The first in a planned Flarity trilogy, and knowing that does change how certain little touches will be seen. The pace is slow, perhaps too slow at times, although that's partly a result of what the story is about. I quite like this interpretation of Fluttershy, and the fic makes for a pleasant, relaxing read. ★★★

The Mane 6 vs. the Islamic State by CategoricalGrant
Mane Six, Celestia, Spike and Other
Comedy/Random/Human; 2K words; Sep 2014; Mature
The Mane Six (and Spike) encounter two IS members. Now look, when I read a story with a title like this, I expect it to be ridiculously, absurdly over-the-top. This? This is frankly rather boring. Nothing much happens, the ending is pedestrian and no, "A-mare-napkin" does not sound anything like "American". Also, pointless Sparity. The Mature rating may be the silliest thing of all; it's barely Teen. The actual writing isn't too bad, but I was so disappointed in this. ★

Mr. Brannigan's Ghosts by Moose Mage
Twilight, Spike and OC
Dark [Gore]; 11K words; Sep–Oct 2013; Teen
A once-lauded musician arrives at the Golden Oak Library and asks Twilight what she knows about ghosts. As the tags suggest, this one isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Keep the faith with it: the first half is fairly good, although Twilight's voice does feel just slightly off at times, but the second half is memorable and gripping. The author has an unusual approach to OC naming, explained here; I'm not sure I entirely like it, but I do think it works in this fic – if for a slightly different reason. Nice, atmospheric prose style, too. ★★★★

Simply Rarity by Somber
Rarity, Sweetie Belle and Twilight
Tragedy/Sad/Slice of Life; 9K words; Jul 2014; Teen
(NB: This story was originally written in 2011.) Rarity becomes uncharacteristically upset by something Applejack says at Twilight's birthday party. It turns out that Rarity's past holds a secret. An odd story, told substantially in diary form, which occasionally teeters on the edge of becoming one of those those "Painful Lives" books you see in WH Smith. However, despite this and the fact that the opening scene isn't that convincing, stick with it: the fic gets much better (and, fair warning, heartbreaking) thereafter. ★★★★

6 comments:

  1. What exactly is wrong with 'furore'?

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    1. Americans tend to spell it "furor" and pronounce it with only two syllables. From what I can gather, the American term also has a slightly wider reach: a rabid dog can be "in a furor", whereas I'd never use "in a furore" in that way.

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    1. Huh? Well then... haha, drongo, I guess. :P

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  3. The difference between British and American English, huh? . . . I could do some research for you and post something about that, if you'd like.

    And yay, I wrote a story that's too slow! I mean, one has to find out where the pacing target is before one can hit it, right?

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    1. You mean that, as a Canadian, you'd be neutral? ;)

      I probably will make the post eventually, even if you or other people do, since it would draw to some extent on personal experience. (Just the other week, I was advised to change "per cent" to "percent" -- actually, both are acceptable in BrE, and "per cent" is what you'll see in The Times.)

      The "too slow" comment was qualified, and as ever I rate purely on my own enjoyment -- none of this "trying to be objective" rubbish here! Given that story's subject matter, I think too fast would have been worse.

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